love changes everything
by hi-peepsx2
Summary: this story takes off from 'that kiss' in bar west on the 6th october 2010 and how would of liked things to have progressed!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer - The characters in this story and Emmerdale don't belong to me they belong to ITV

Love Changes Everything

Chapter One

As Aaron leaned in to kiss his boyfriend before leaving for a smoke, he couldn't help but gaze into those big brown eyes and wonder how he has become so lucky. It's only been a few months since his life was in turmoil, what with the struggling to accept his sexuality, that night in the woolpack when he practically knocked Jackson into next week and the court case where he finally admitted to himself and his family he was gay. Now here he is happy with the person that made him realise who he was, even if it had been in dire circumstances. Aaron leaned in for one final flirty kiss and with a look that said it all turned away to head for the door of bar west, slyly looking back at the sexy builder he called his boyfriend.

Outside, whilst having a smoke, he spotted mickey pulling up outside a club and all those feelings of hatred and rage swept through his body once again, this is where Aaron thought to himself he would get his revenge, where micky would pay for what he did to Clyde.. has Aaron stood across the street waiting for mickey to disappear, Jackson realised Aaron was taking some time so decided he would go out and look for him, when Jackson exited the bar he couldn't see his lover and began to panic, as he rang Aarons mobile he could hear the rave song that was his ringtone play so knew he must be close by, as his eyes scanned the street frantically he spotted Aaron in a shop doorway angrily staring at someone or something and as he followed Aarons gaze he realised there was trouble brewing.

Jackson ran across the road and confronted his lover,

'What do you think you are doing?' Jackson asked angrily

'Thinking of what I can do to that dickhead who killed my dog!' Aaron replied sharply and with such hatred in his voice.

'if you do anything stupid we are through and I mean it this time Aaron, I'm sick of your tough man act and your constant attempt to do people over who have wronged you, you always spoil things when its going well, can you not just accept what's happened has happened and for a reason?'

'You want me to forget that, that bastard killed my dog and is getting away with it?'

Jackson looked at Aaron and saw the upset and guilt in his eyes, as he knew Aaron blamed himself for what happened, but in true Aaron style sorted out his problem with his fists.

'Yeah I do, come back inside and we can still have a great night?' Jackson begged his lover

As Jackson waited for Aaron to look at him and come back inside with him he realised that wasn't going be the case and turned away with a 'pppffft'

Aaron looked and asked him where he was going?

Jackson replied,

'I told you it was over if you did anything stupid and your clearly not going to listen so Aaron it's over and I'm going'

And with that Jackson turned on his heels and walked away as much as it broke his heart.

As Aaron stood transfixed with a glare that could kill directed at mickey, he realised what it was he was jeopardising and looked around to find Jackson…..He was gone!

With him nowhere in sight Aaron rang him to find out where he was… no answer!

Aaron kept ringing and ringing until Jackson eventually answered with an abrupt 'what'

'Where are you?' Aaron asked meekly

'On my way home Aaron! As I said before, it's over between us!'

'But I don't want it to be over Jackson, we have a good thing going and i need you!' Aaron replied with the clear sound of upset in his voice.

' a good thing going, a good thing going, tell me how what we have is good all we do is argue, usually over you being hot headed, there just seems to be a lot of giving and no receiving in this relationship Aaron and it isn't coming from you. Your clearly uneasy when where out in public and you never show me any affection, I don't think I could be in a relationship where I receive nothing in return for my clear devotion towards you, I told you I loved you and I meant it and I don't even get anything in return'

With that said the line went silent.

'Aaron are you there? This is what I mean, every time I'm honest with you, you clam up and hide in your shell'

'I... I... I... do want to say to you how I feel Jackson, honest I do but… but…! Where are you come and pick me up and we can talk'


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer - The characters in this story or Emmerdale don't belong to me they belong to ITV

Chapter Two

Aaron waited outside bar west for 15 minute before Jackson arrived in his van, as Aaron stepped in he could tell Jackson had been crying and this made his heart ache, the thought of him doing this to someone he clearly cared about made him angry, angry with himself.

With Aaron now in the van they drove off, the first few miles in silence

'J… J… J… Jackson I'm sorry that I bottled up when you said you loved me, I just needed some time to think. Nobody has ever said that to me and I felt uneasy about the whole situation, not because it was you but because it was what you said I didn't know how to react to those words, and I didn't want to do or say anything stupid which is why I ran'

As Jackson listened to the words coming out of Aaron's mouth he thought for a while, in silence

Aaron sensed the awkward silence and asked Jackson to say something, but Jackson just concentrated on the road and moors ahead of him.

Aaron knew then there was no salvaging the damage that he caused, and he spent the rest of the journey home desperately trying to keep his emotions in and not break down crying in the van and Jackson did exactly the same.

About twenty minutes later they pulled up outside smithy cottage and both jumped out the van, Aaron going into the cottage and Jackson heading to the woopack.

Aaron looked back at Jackson and realised he had totally screwed things up between them and headed in doors. As he sat on the sofa head in his hands he thought of how he hadn't been able to repeat back to Jackson what Jackson had said to him and realised how hurt he must of felt, the thought of Jackson with so many unanswered question made Aaron fill up and sob.

Meanwhile back at the woolpack, Jackson entered and went straight to the bar,

'Pint please Diane'

As Jackson sat at the bar pondering on the nights events he felt a comforting arm around his shoulders and looked around to see his mums sympathetic and comforting face.

'I said to myself… I said hazel that does not look like the face of a man who has just had the best night out with his absolutely gorgeous hunky mechanic of a boyfriend does it?'

'Leave it mum' Jackson replied

'Come on my precious boy, what's happened? Or should I say what's he done now?'

'HE hasn't done anything' sharply defending his lover

'it's me I pushed him away' Jackson said quietly.

As Jackson stared aimlessly into his glass hazel could not help but think Jackson had really fallen for Aaron and hard…

'You really love him don't you my boy?'

'Yes', Jackson said with a sense of loss in his voice

'Well why don't you tell him how you feel?' hazel piped up ever so enthusiastically

'already did and that's the problem that's what pushed him away, I told him the other day and he ran a mile it came up tonight in conversation and he said he's never heard it said to him before so panicked as he didn't want to do anything or say anything stupid which is why he ran'

'well my boy the fact that he ran because he didn't want to say or do something stupid tells me that he wanted to protect you from his outburst which in turn means he has feelings for you but is scared to show them'

'Mum, can you just leave it, were over... end of and I don't think I'll come home tonight, might just stop at Declan's'

'But Jackson you will be freezing you ca…..'

'Mum' Jackson interrupted

'I have some sheets I use when painting and I have the portable heater so I will be fine, if not I'll ask Andy if I can stop at his tonight'

'But Jackson just come home and sort this mess out… please for me?' Hazel pleaded

'I think we both need some time to think things through and decide where this is heading mum, I can't vouch for Aaron but I now I do'

'He needs to decide if he's gonna grow up and not reason with his fists all the time and I need to know whether I can cope with his tempers whenever there is the slightest bit of trouble and whether I can actually calm him' Jackson proclaimed with an eerie sense to his voice as if he already knew it was over between him and Aaron and neither of them could sort out their differences.

'Okay my boy but you be careful and come home first thing and I will have a lovely hot bath run and a full English cooked for you!

'Think I'll wait till Aarons gone out if that's alright? Don't think I could face seeing him just yet!'

As hazel looked at her boy so hurt and destroyed by the man he loved she kissed his head and left knowing he wanted to be by himself.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer - The characters in this story don't belong to me they belong to ITV

Chapter Three

As hazel left the woolpack she looked over to smithy cottage and she saw Aaron's bedroom light on and headed home content on giving him a piece of her mind...

As she neared she could hear the loud blare of dance music blasting out of the room, she let herself in the cottage and barged up the stairs reeling from what Aaron had done to her baby boy, but also with a sense of pity for Aaron as he was clearly unable and frightened to show his true feeling s.

She was intent on giving him a tongue lashing and making him see sense.

As she entered Aaron's room she wasn't expecting nor prepared for the image she saw, Aaron curled up in a ball sobbing his heart out on the bed cuddling his pillow for comfort with a picture of him and Jackson taken in Lanzarote, room totally trashed. For the first time hazel actually saw Aaron as a vulnerable young man, and not the teenage tear away he glammed himself up to be, although she knew deep down he was vulnerable, this image proved it.

Hazel walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, making Aaron jump with fright, he looked at hazel rolled over and burst into tears and sobbed, head in her knee as she placed a warm, comforting arm over his shoulder and stroking his face trying to will the hurt away for him she said to him,

'What's wrong with you two 'ey' trying to fake a laugh to lighten the mood?

'What we've got Mr Tickle over in the woolpack drowning himself in his pint and you in here crying like a baby! What has happened tonight to make you both so miserable?' hazel quizzed Aaron to see what his turn of event would be.

Aaron steadily gained his composure and held back the tears to reply to hazels question

'I've lost him hazel' Aaron said through teary eyes

'He told me he L...L…L...Loved me!'

'So why has that caused such tension, you two seemed like you where getting on so well?'

Aaron looked up at hazel with such fear in his eyes and hazel looked back at Aaron

'Because I never said it back' Aaron confessed

'Oh, oh right and you can't say it back because you don't feel it back? Am I right?'

Aaron looked up and wiped his teary eyes dry and shook his head,

'No I can't tell him because….. Because…..I do love him and I couldn't face being rejected' he said through a croaky voice.

'But Aaron he loves you, and only you, well he loves me more of course, I am his mum!' hazel said through a laugh trying to lighten the mood

'you're not going to get rejected Aaron, when my boy says something he means every single word, I have never saw him so hung up over somebody before and I know he thinks an awful lot of you and loves you, I may even go as far to say he is in love with you'

'but he's said himself that he only came to emmerdale because of the job offer he got on Declan's house, as soon as he gets a job offer somewhere else he'll be gone, and I can't go with him and I couldn't face that heartache hazel I really couldn't' Aaron proclaimed just before breaking down in tears once again.

As Hazel listened to those tender words coming from Aarons mouth she then realised that Aaron was as madly in love with Jackson, as Jackson was in love with him, okay they had only been together for six months but hazel truly believed if you find that right person, that special someone, then nothing can get in the way of loves path.

'Oh Aaron, if he gets a job offer elsewhere, he'll come back to you and only you' Hazel tried to reassure Aaron but failed!

'Will he though, that's what I'm scared of'!

Hazel looked at Aaron and once again saw a vulnerable young man so deeply in love that it hurt him.

'Why don't me and you go out for lunch tomorrow? To talk things through, if you want to that is? I know a fab little bistro in Hotton we could go to' Hazel said hesitantly to Aaron

'I'm not really a "going out to lunch" kinda person, plus I've got to work' Aaron replied wiping his tears away

'I'm sure if I ask Cain he could spare you for a couple of hours, and no one need know that Aaron livesy has been "out to lunch" as you so put it, I'll just say I need a hand with something'

'Yeah I'll think about it and hazel….. Thanks for being supportive I know Jacksons your son and this must be hard to come here and comfort someone who is a total head wrecker for him!'

Hazel looked at Aaron and stroked his head and said

'my dear boy, I know how the two of you really feel for each other and if I could I would knock your heads together and make you two see bloody sense, but I know Jackson can deal with this, you on the other hand cant and it must be hard for you not to be able to speak to your mother about it so I'm always here for you if you need me'

With that, hazel left Aarons room and went to hers with a smug smile on her face.

As she entered her room she waited a few minutes before rapidly texting Jackson asking to meet her for lunch tomorrow knowing that he wouldn't be coming home tonight as he wanted some time alone, hoping to get a reply, she waited anxiously next to her phone but no reply came, but she wasn't admitting defeat that easily.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer - The characters in this story or Emmerdale don't belong to me they belong to ITV

Chapter Four

The next morning Aaron woke up and rolled over to see his lover and greet him good morning, hoping that the events from the previous night had been forgot about, but there was nothing, just an empty cold space and neat pillow where Jackson should have been but wasn't. Aaron then wondered where he had spent the night, he decided to refrain from phoning him in the hope that there night apart only highlighted how good they were together and how much they needed each other.

As Aaron went down stairs for his breakfast he could here hazel singing along to the radio at the top of her voice,

'How is she so cheerful all the time?' he wondered to himself

'_Well, he walked up to me and he asked me if I wanted to dance. _

_He looked kinda nice and so I said I might take a chance._

_When he danced he held me tight_

_and when he walked me home that night_

_all the stars were shining bright_

_and then he ki_…oh good morning sleepy head, how are you this morning? Did you sleep alright' hazel asked Aaron all bright and cheery as usual.

'What do you think?' Aaron snapped at hazel

'He didn't come home last night, so I guess it is over' Aaron said clearly devastated at the sheer thought of it

'Just give him some time, he'll come round in the end!' hazel added trying to lift poor Aarons spirits

'Yeah and what if he doesn't?' said Aaron as he made his way back up the stairs forgetting about his breakfast to have his morning shower.

Has Aaron ran the shower he started to strip off his shorts and t-shirt that he had worn to bed that night, well it was Jacksons t-shirt and it made Aaron feel close to him at least.

Now totally naked he stepped into the shower and felt the hot water flood over his body, over his head and toned abs and down his strong back, covering his toned thighs and pert bum, as he was getting washed he couldn't help but think of the times before when Jackson suggested they do there bit to save the planet and shower together.

The thoughts run wild in his head, him and Jackson standing face to face, torso to torso, Jackson lathering up the wash cloth and gently caressing Aarons abs and pecks, turning him round and washing his back and slowly making his way down and discarding the wash cloth to use his bare hands as he rubbed stroked and massaged Aarons 'sexy ass' as Jackson called it, then turning him around again so they were face to face. This time locking lips in a passionate embrace allowing both sets of hands to explore their two bodies, Jackson slowly moving, kissing Aarons face and round his neck behind his ears, as Jackson knew this was Aarons sensitive spot and would drive him wild, gently and softly kissing down his neck to his pecks giving his nipples a gentle but enduring nibble, he knew this secretly turned Aaron on, down to his tight toned abs to that little 'treasure trail' Jackson loved on his man and eventually taking Aarons whole rock hard member…..

'Stop it Aaron you have to get over him now' Aaron said to himself

As he finished washing he quickly placed those thought of him and Jacksons many erotic trysts to the back of his head as it only made him feel like he needed him more and if it truly was over between them he didn't want that reminder of the fun they had together as he couldn't cope with what his stupidity has made him lose!

Once dried and ready Aaron headed downstairs grabbed his coat and said goodbye to hazel, Paddy nowhere in sight as he crashed at Marlon's after getting a taxi home from the club they were at with the two lovers.

'Are we still on for later Aaron?' shouted Hazel

'Yeah about that… I don't really feel up to it to be honest Hazel'

' oh but Aaron I was really looking forward to it I actually did want to get paddy something for letting us stay here and wanted you opinion on it?...please come Aaron?' Hazel begged

'Well I don't know if Cain would let me have the time off as where really busy in the garage at the minute' Aaron rhymed off an excuse in the hope that hazel would buy it

'You leave your uncle to me, I'll sort him out, he's just a big fluffy bunny rabbit in disguise' Hazel said as she cheekily winked to Aaron

'Okay then come for me about one o'clock, oh and good luck sorting Cain out' Aaron said as he slammed the door behind him and left the security of the cottage.

As he walked to work he could see Jackson's van parked up and could see Declan's house still locked up and no one insight

'I wonder where he is?' thought Aaron as Jackson is normally up and ready for work before him.

As he neared the garage he could see Cain coming out about to start having a go at him

'What's t'matter wit' your mush? You and twinkle toes had a tiff?' Cain teased Aaron

'wind yer neck in will ya, ya' prat' Aaron sharply retaliated, much to the amusement of Cain as he loved to wind Aaron up, although deep down he loved his nephew and would kill anyone who made those sort of remarks to him, it was only okay as long as it was coming out of his mouth, but he didn't want Aaron to know that.

Meanwhile at smithy cottage Jackson had managed to sneak in so Aaron wouldn't see him as he knew he would want to talk

'Good god. Where did you sleep last night?' Hazel asked Jackson whilst holding her nose in sheer disgust!

'Slept in the van' Jackson replied

'You smell like you have slept in a pig sty then decided to dip into a pan of oil! Get those cloths off and go and get a shower before breakfast, hazel demanded to Jackson!

Jackson made his way up the stairs and grabbed a couple of towels from the airing cupboard, they were fresh and had that freshly washed smell that reminded him so much of Aaron, he couldn't help but inhale deeply and imagine him and Aaron the first night they got there double bed with all fresh sheets, rolling around making mad passionate love, then he remembered the first night he slept at and slept with Aaron, he remembers how nervous he was, remembers the look on his eyes when the kissing stopped and the exploration started as Jackson made his way around Aarons naked body with his tongue, he remembers the look of fright, fear and disgust soon wash away with pure ecstasy as Jackson kissed his stomach, down to his now fully hard member, and remembers asking Aaron.

'Are you sure you wanna do this?'

To which Aaron gave an embarrassed and shy laugh and claimed

'I told you I don't do nothing I don't wanna do'

And with that Jackson began to caress Aarons fully erect penis with his tongue before taking it all in his mouth …

'JACKSON! Have you finished in the shower yet your breakfasts getting cold?' hazel bellowed up the stairs interrupting Jackson explicit thoughts of him and Aaron together

'Not yet mum, just jumping in now' came Jacksons reply

'What, just jumping in now you been up there twenty minutes what you been doi…..? Never mind Jackson don't answer that one'

'MUM, that's disgusting stop saying things like that'

'Jackson my dear boy we all have needs, and from the sound of that bed the last couple of weeks with you and Aaron i wouldn't blame you if you wanted a little "personal time" on your own, after all Aaron is absolutely gorgeous!'

'MUM will you shut up please?' Jackson begged his mum to stop the mental torture of her going on as if she was giving him the birds and the bees talk like when he was fifteen.

After half an hour Jackson came down the stairs all fresh and clean and ravenous, hazel was in the middle of cooking him breakfast again as the other one had gone cold so she binned it.

Hazel placed a plate with everything on it in front of Jackson and a steaming cup of coffee

'There you go me boy, hope you enjoy!' hazel said as she watched her son devour the breakfast in front of him.

Hazel couldn't help but feel proud of her son and smiled like a Cheshire cat every time she looked at him, he opened up to hazel when he was sixteen, couldn't take it any longer and wanted to tell the truth that he was gay, hazel always knew he was but wanted Jackson to find the strength to be able to tell people when he was ready, Jerry (Jackson's father) on the other hand didn't' take it so well he flew of the handle punching him around for being a "fag" and a "puff", this was the final straw for hazel nobody was going to beat her son up and get away with it so the following day her and Jackson upped and left. Now here he is a big strapping, gorgeous man, openly gay and proud of it, in his "sort of first serious" relationship and now has his own business, hazel could not be prouder.

As Jackson finished his breakfast hazel sat down with a cup of tea next to him.

'Did you enjoy that, son?' asked Hazel

'Yeah, it was bloody lovely, what can I do to say thank you?' Jackson asked as he took the final bite of his toast

Hazel knew what she wanted him to do!

'Did you get my text last night Jackson?' she asked

'Ah my battery died so I couldn't get texts or anything, sorry' Jackson explained

'Well I text you last night asking if you wanted to go for lunch today so to thank me you can come with me' his mum said

'Ah mum, I don't know I've got this job on in Hotton and not sure what time I'll be done' Jackson claimed as he tried to wangle his way out of it as he knew with lunch came red wine and with red wine came a more cheerier and boisterous hazel

'I'm not taking no for an answer, anyway you're in Hotton so I can meet you at the pub about half one!

'Okay mum see you there then.'

And with that Jackson put his coat on and left for work, not before giving his mum a kiss and thank you for the breakfast.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer - The characters in this story or Emmerdale don't belong to me they belong to ITV

Chapter Five

Aaron spent the morning with his head in the clouds; clearly disturbed by the words Jackson said last night, they kept going over and over in his head 'it's over Aaron'

as he spent the morning working on cars and going back and forward to the café for Cain, he couldn't help but let those words echo in his mind

'It's over Aaron'

Aaron didn't want to, couldn't accept that this was the end of it between him and Jackson so decided he would nip over to Declan's to see if Jackson was there, but before he could, he heard hazel

'AARON!' she shouted as she was coming out of smithy cottage

Aaron looked round and saw her waving and making her way over to the garage,

'God is that the time already' Aaron thought to himself

As hazel walked over she shouted of Cain to ask if she could take Aaron of his hands for a few hours!

'Be my guest' Cain replied

'He's no good to me in this state, daydreaming all morning like a love sick puppy, he hasn't done an ounce of work all morning! Whatever you're doing today, see if you can give him a kick up the arse will ya?' Cain jokingly asked hazel

And with that Aaron went into the back to discard his overalls and change in to his civvies.

On the way into town hazel asked Aaron what he was thinking about at work.

'Jackson' came the reply.

'So why don't you two boys have a night out, just you two so you can talk things through 'ey? Hazel asked

'I'll even keep Marlon and Paddy occupied so they don't spoil it' she offered

'Any way where we going exactly' Aaron asked avoiding the question Hazel was asking

'Well I was going to wait till we were there and then I was going to tell you but then … I said to myself … I said Hazel would this young buck accompany me if he knew where we were really going?'

'Hazel! Please tell me where were going' Aaron asked inquisitively but with a slight tone of anger in his voice

'Me and you my boy are going to meet Jackson and were going to have a sit down like a proper family and sort this problem out once and for all' hazel said with determination at the for front of her voice

'Hazel, he won't come I now he won't he told me last night it was over, and he really meant it, he's not gonna want meet a head wrecker like me back is he'

'oh but you have cupid on your side and he doesn't know you're coming so we'll just leave that surprise for when he gets there shall we' hazel said with a smirk on her face

The pair spent the rest of the twenty minute bus journey in silence although you could almost hear the thoughts coming out of Aarons head as he was clearly thinking of what would be said and what the outcome would be, and in Aarons head there would be no nice words said or happy ever after.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer - The characters in this story or Emmerdale don't belong to me they belong to ITV

Chapter Six

As Aaron and hazel sat waiting for Jackson, Aaron was becoming increasingly agitated,

What was he doing here, why did he not just get off the bus, and what would Jackson do when he saw him? The questions kept spinning around in his head, until he heard Hazels voice greet the man that deep down he adored, the man that completed his being and the man that saved him from himself.

As he looked up he could sense Jackson was not happy to see him, and this made Aaron worse

'Right, you two now that we are all here we can actually sit down and have a proper talk and work things out between you two' Hazel bellowed as Jackson pulled up a chair and sat down to his drink

'Nowt to sort out'! Jackson interrupted

'I put my cards on the table last night and Aaron decided he wasn't gonna play the hand that I gave him' Jackson said with anger and guilt in his voice

'Jackson you gotta believe me when I say this, I do… I do…. I do like ya, and I wanna be with you for the rest of my life, you made me open my eyes and see what I was missing, and I don't wanna miss anything else and I want you to be there to see it with me' Aaron proclaimed hoping that his desperate attempt of rekindling what they had, worked

'But that's just it though Aaron! You haven't opened your eyes, when I asked you to not do anything stupid you ignored me, you were so desperate to act out your revenge on micky that you just ignored that I was there, and it's just gonna get worse! You do something to the something that he loves and then he does summit worse to something you love and it's just gonna carry on until you do summit to each other, and I don't wanna be in that situation Aaron, I don't wanna have to come and visit you in some high security jail 'coz the way you're going with ya psycho act that's where you'll end up'!

As Aaron heard the words spill out of Jacksons mouth he could feel a hard lump develop in his throat has he realised Jackson does love him and that it wasn't just him saying things.

'He couldn't do anything more to me that would hurt me inside any more than he already has' Aaron barked back with vulnerability in his voice

As Jackson sat across from his lover he heard the words that he dreaded to hear

'What about me Aaron? What if he does something to me? Did you ever stop to think of that?' and with saying this Jackson pushed his seat back and left the bar leaving Aaron devastated and reeling that he had put his foot in it yet again

As Aaron sat holding back the tears he looked at hazel and said

'I told you! I never know what to say or how to say it and I've gone and made it ten times worse now, it's definitely over now' Aaron slumped down in his chair covered his face with his hands and began to cry, hazel offering a sympathetic shoulder to console a very sad, very fragile Aaron

Once Aaron had regained control of himself he and hazel left the bar and stood at the bus stop waiting for the bus to take them back to Emmerdale when suddenly hazel had a thought

'What are you like writing letters?' she said

'What?' came the sharp reply

'You know letters? How are you at writing letters? Whenever I want to say something but I don't know how to say it I always write it in a letter'!

'I don't know I've never really tried' Aaron confessed, wondering how hazel could ever be stuck or find it difficult to say anything

'Well, why don't you write Jackson a letter telling him how you feel?' said hazel

'Do you think it would work? Aaron asked

'Well it's worth a try aint it?' said Hazel with an enthusiastic look on her face

Yeah, s'pose so' Aaron half-heartedly admitted

And with that the bus arrived and the pair got on and sat in silence the whole journey back home.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer - The characters in this story or Emmerdale don't belong to me they belong to ITV

Chapter Seven

As soon as they arrived back in the village Aaron raced up to the cottage and barged through the door and went straight up stairs, nearly knocking paddy over in the process!

'flippin' heck mate'! Paddy said has he attempted to save his cup of tea and sandwich that he had just made

As Hazel entered Paddy looked at her and said

'What's wrong with him?'

Hazel looked at paddy smiling to herself at the break through she had achieved

'Hazel, what's wrong?' paddy said sternly demanding to know why his practically adopted son shot up the stairs and why Hazel looked like the cat that got the cream

'We've had a little talk and I've persuaded him to write his feeling for Jackson down in a letter! Hazel said still beaming at her achievement

'What' paddy squawked?

'you know yer' not gonna' get a romance novel out of 'im, don't 'ya?

'Yes I know that Patrick' said hazel

'But that look in his eyes today when Jackson left said it all'!

'WHAT? Jacksons left, where too? Who with? Paddy asked confused at what had been going on

'Not left, left you Muppet, just walked away upset, but he might as well of emigrated the way Aarons face was'!

As hazel sat down and filled paddy in on the events of the past twenty four hours, he now realised why him and Marlon had to get a taxi home!

'Flamin' hell and here was me and Marlon thinking that they'd buggered off to come home and… you now…' paddy continued awkwardly, not really knowing what words to say

'Make love Paddy, it's called making love, gay men can love each other and can make love and not just have sex you know, and the sooner you stop acting all awkward and embarrassed around the pair of them the sooner this situation will sort itself out'

'I know it's not your fault Paddy, but Aaron really looks up to you and yes you have said its okay and yes you have said that you have accepted him, but I see it in your eyes Paddy! every morning when they come down the stairs together acting all giddy and in love, I can see the awkwardness in your eyes and I can see it in Aaron eyes that he senses this and it hurts him Paddy, because he probably feels like you haven't accepted it… haven't accepted him'

With these words that hit paddy like a bus he looked up the stairs and realised hazel was right!

'Do you think I should go up and talk to him?' paddy asked

'No, let him write what's on his mind while it's still fresh in his memory! Me and you now need to go and find Jackson and see how he is and work our magic on him, come on chop, chop' hazel said practically pulling paddy out through the door.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer - The characters in this story or Emmerdale don't belong to me they belong to ITV

Chapter Eight

Aaron contemplated for a while what he was going to say before putting the pen to paper, what was he going to say? How would he word it? What if Jackson just throes it in the bin?

'AAAHHH for fuck sake, man! Why is it so hard to write a letter?' Aaron shouts frustrated, throwing another rolled up piece of paper in the bin!

Jackson,

Its quarter past six and I'm sitting in my room… our room, alone, wishing you were here, in our bed! Instead your god knows were and all because I freaked out over some stupid word, I don't mean to freak out and react the way I do but I can't exactly change the way I've had to be!

I'm listening to our song,' just say yes' (you don't know its our song but I think of you every time I hear it)! it was playing when we had our first proper kiss, a kiss that I felt comfortable with! That night I was so scared, not because I didn't want to, I did, but because I didn't want it to end! You made it feel so right, for once I wasn't bothered about me and you and peoples thoughts, I was safe in our little bubble, I just wanted to lie in your arms forever, the way you kissed me and the way you made me feel at ease, it felt like, for once, I belonged to someone, and I did I belonged to you! That night made me realise something, it made me realise how much I liked you!

I know I have a funny way of showing it, after all not everyone smacks the person they really like, but I was scared of my feelings and I didn't know what to do so I just lashed out, im good at that!

That day has never gone and never will go out of my head, I felt so ashamed that I did that to you, that I could hurt you like that, but I'm glad you forgave me, and that made that night all the more special, because after what I had done to you, you still wanted me and you proved that by how gentle and loving you where to me!

I don't mean to be the way I am Jackson, honest I don't, from being a kid my mam never took interest in me, she was only bothered about which one of my pals would let me stop at their house so she could go out on the piss! My dad always had different lasses who always said 'ah aaron you so sweet, am gonna love you like a mother should' and then they would have another argument about his dodgey deals and they would leave, even when my dad dumped me at my mams she wasn't exactly pleased to see me, just said 'what the flamin' hell you doing here? What you done now?

That night in bar west when I saw you, I felt something in my stomach, it felt all queezy, I felt something that Iv never felt before! I know I have issues Jackson, I know that, but that's not something that is going to go away overnight, I want to be able to tell you how I feel about you and how you make me feel, I feel so safe when I'm with you and I never want that to end Jackson!

What I'm trying to say Jackson is that I do love you…..there I've said it… I LOVE YOU Jackson Walsh!

I was frightened to say it in case you were like the rest and left, I couldn't cope if you left Jackson, I couldn't go on anymore without you.

Will you please forgive me and let's try and sort this out, I know it's my mess, but that's what boyfriends do, sort things out together as a couple!

Jackson I really love you and can't see my life without you, I know we only been together six months but… god Jackson its killing me inside, please, please can we give it another go?

Meet me at Nine; I'll be with Clyde, we can talk!

Love

Aaron

X x

And with his feelings down on paper he placed the letter in an envelope and made his way downstairs to put his coat on and post the letter.

As he walked out the door he couldn't help be blinded by an immense blue light and the deafening noise of sirens wailing past him and coming to an abrupt stop, as two men in green clothes jumped out he realised they had stopped at Declan's house.

'I wonder what going on at decl….JACKSON, JACKSONNNNNNNNN!'


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer - The characters in this story or Emmerdale don't belong to me they belong to ITV

Chapter Nine

As Aaron sprinted over to Declan's house he could see Paddy standing at the back door and could here Hazel wailing at the top of her voice...

'Somebody do something to save my little boy '

He knew instantly that what he was about to see wasn't going to be good.

As he rushed in to the cottage Paddy grabbed him, to save him from the heartache

'GET OFF ME PADDY! JACKSON, JACKSON!' Aaron shouted as he struggled to escape from the gentle giants grip

Just as he got lose and was about to enter the cottage, two paramedics came running out with Jackson on a stretcher and Hazel in tow,

'Can you move out the way please son' asked one of the paramedics rushing to the ambulance

'What's wrong with him?' Aaron asked, with desperation and worry in his voice

Hazel and Paddy both looked at him unable to speak

'Can somebody please tell me what's wrong with him?' screamed Aaron with tears starting to run down his face

'We came in and found him on the floor, unconscious, and foaming at the mouth' claimed hazel barely able to speak and with tears pouring from her eyes and a look of worry on her face.

As the paramedics got in the ambulance they asked Hazel, Aaron and Paddy to wait a few moments as they stabilised Jackson, and got him prepared for the journey.

Unable to keep her composure she leaned into Paddy and broke down, hysterically crying at the thought of what was happening to her little boy

'My boy can't die, he just can't, he's too young paddy, he can't die'!

As Aaron heard those words, he too began to crumble at the thought of what could happen to his lover and as he held the letter that he had just wrote close to his chest he realised he may never get to give it to Jackson and Jackson would never know how he truly felt.

Those few moments felt like hours to hazel and Aaron, eventually the paramedics came out, one heading to the drivers cab and another standing at the back of the vehicle asking who was going to the hospital.

'Where both going!' hazel piped up to the medic who stood back to allow one access to the back of the ambulance.

Hazel looked at Aaron and offered to go in the front so he could be with Jackson, and Paddy stated he would make his way to the hospital

As Aaron got in, he could see Jackson awake, very drowsy, but awake and hooked up to a heart monitor machine, oxygen mask over his face and a bag of clear fluid attached to a drip in his arm.

'What's that for?' Aaron asked pointing to the heart machine as he struggled to stand as the ambulance pulled away with sirens blaring

'It's so we can observe your brothers heart, claimed the paramedic

'He's not my brother….. he's my boyfriend'! Snapped Aaron harshly but proudly as he felt comfortable saying that Jackson was his boyfriend, even in the circumstances

'Oh okay the… can we pick the speed up please he's going into fast AF' shouted the paramedic

As one paramedic put his foot down and sounded the sirens the other raced to the back of the ambulance to get the medicine bag

'What…What's going on, what's happening to him?' cried Aaron,

With hazel looking on helplessly in the front the paramedic began to explain what was happening as he prepare the IV medication

'basically you boyfriends heart's in a heart rhythm called AF which means Atrial Fibrillation, this means one of his chambers in his heart is beating too fast and irregularly and the other three chambers can't keep up with it, this means his heart is beating dangerously fast so we need to give him some medication to slow it down'

As the paramedic prepared the medication, he shouted to the other paramedic

'Neil, administering 0.25mg of digoxin IV'

'Yeah heard that Steve 0.25mg of digoxin' came the shout from the front

Holding his lovers hand Aaron was sobbing uncontrollably, asking Jackson to wake up, willing the medication to work and for Jackson to pull through

'come on, wake up Jackson, come on, just open those eyes I fell in love with!'

'come on ya big pilick, open ya eyes I need ya, Jackson come on I love you'

As Steve sat awkwardly next to the two lads, he observed the screen

'Come on Jackson, open your eyes' Aaron begged again

A few minute had passed and Jackson's heart began to slow down to an acceptable rate, and he began to regain consciousness, Steve announced to hazel, Aaron and Neil that the medication appeared to be working, but before he could get the words out of his mouth the heart monitor began to beep erratically

'He's gone into AF again Neil we need to cardiovert and we need to get to the hospital quickly!'

As Steve asked Aaron to move back he got the defibrillator out and slapped the paddles on Jackson's lifeless body

Aaron didn't know what was going on but knew what these machines where for and as he watched the paramedic prepare the device he began crying and sobbed to the paramedic to bring his boyfriend back.

The paramedic reassured Aaron that his boyfriend had not died and that the medication had not worked so they were going to shock his heart back into a normal, more stable rhythm; however he prepared him by saying that this was a medical emergency and needed to be treat immediately and Jackson was still in a critical state.

As Aaron and hazel looked on at Steve he applied the pads and again asked Aaron to stand back as he was about to deliver the first charge

'CLEAR!' said Steve

Aaron and hazels cries become more audible as they watched their son and partner jump as the shock was delivered, with no change in the heart rhythm Steve delivered another shock and anxiously looked at the machine.

As Aaron watched the machine he could see the lines moving erratically and although he didn't understand what it meant, it filled his body with dread

'What's going on? Why won't you say anything? What's wrong with him?' asked Aaron, barely able to speak or see through the tears that had engulfed his eyes once more at the thought of losing Jackson

Steve looked on at the machine and saw the ECG going back into a normal rhythm

'It's okay he's alright his heart going back into normal rhythm, but he's not out of the woods yet' he said to Aaron and hazel as they both let out a sigh of relief through teary eyes and sobs

'The doctors will need to ask you some questions, about his medical history and such like and then they'll run some tests to see why his hearts behaving like this, again he's not out of the woods yet' said the paramedic

As they neared the A and E department Jackson was now conscious again and was asking what was happening and why Aaron was 'crying like a baby ' and why his chest hurt so much?

Aaron couldn't help but let out a small laugh and looked at Jackson with such tender love and admiration through his teary eyes

'If only you knew' Aaron said as Jackson was being wheeled out of the ambulance and into the very busy A and E department

As Hazel and Aaron both thanked Neil and Steve for what they had done Steve asked them to go and give Jacksons details to the receptionist as they took Jackson into resus and they would inform the doctors and nurses they were there and to come and get them as soon as possible.

A/N

I'm not really that pleased with this chapter, I personally think it doesn't make sense please review with your thoughts!


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer - The characters in this story or Emmerdale don't belong to me they belong to ITV

Chapter Ten

As Aaron and Hazel sat in the busy A and E waiting area, waiting for news on Jacksons condition, their eyes scanned the room… wondering what happened to the man with the bandage round his head and what happened to the woman who was heavily pregnant and wearing only one shoe as her foot was the size of a melon, there conversation bland at the thoughts of what was happening.

The mood in the air was very sombre, neither one paying much attention to the other

Suddenly Hazel chipped in.

'Aaron? Did you write that letter? You know…like we talked about?

'Yep'! Came the reply

'And?' hazel asked, confused at how Aaron was feeling but annoyed that he felt he couldn't open up to her, as their relationship had seemed to go from strength to strength just as much as his and Jacksons had seemed to be going, but let's face it if he couldn't open up to Jackson, how could he open up to his boyfriends mum?

'And what?' snapped Aaron as he couldn't help but wonder what was happening to his lover

'What did you put down? I mean did you put on paper what you feel? I don't wanna know the ins and outs because that's none of my business' enquired Hazel

'yeah your right it is none of your business, but for your information I have wrote it down, but i hardly make sense when I talk so what chance is there of me making any sense on paper?' barked Aaron, clearly hurting for Jackson, and annoyed at Hazel for interfering

'Look Aaron I know I'm not your mum but there are a lot of people who do genuinely care about you, Your mum does even though she doesn't show it, Paddy, Rhona, even me but I need to be straight with you, Jackson is so in love with you that it hurts him so bad, and the other night when you had the argument, he was devastated that you couldn't put is feelings first for a change, that you didn't even consider how he was feeling, all he wanted was for you and him to have a great night out as boyfriends should, but instead you bring out the tough man act and spoil it! Aaron we know you have had a hard life and I can't even begin to imagine how tough it has been for you, even Jackson will never be able to understand the things you have had to go through…but you need to stop living in the past otherwise it will make your future follow suit, and you need to start letting people in Aaron, you need to let Jackson in, otherwise he's just going to think you don't trust him, and no relationship can last without trust'

Aaron listened to Hazels word and found his eyes welling up with tears

'yeah that's right , you will never know what I've had to go through and the other night when I saw that prick mickey all I wanted to do was go over and kick. His. Fucking. Head. In, get some satisfaction at seeing him hurt the way I did when his dog killed mine, and anyway who died and made you Trisha I don't seem to remember coming to some counselling session?'

Hazel sat back and let Aaron vent his anger, it was better than directing it to Jackson or Paddy who she was becoming increasingly fond of

'What you feeling at this moment? Asked Hazel

'What's sort of a question is that?' replied Aaron

'Exactly what I asked you! What is going through your head right now, this minute?'

'Well apart from wanting you to shut up, I'm thinking about how Jackson is, what's happening to him, what are the doctors dong to him?'

'So are you worried about him?' asked Hazel trying to get a positive response for the direction she wanted to the conversation to go, trying to take her mind off her own worry and fear

'Course I'm worried about him, I love him!' spat Aaron

'So… you do love him then? Well put yourself in Jacksons shoes for one minute Aaron, say you did _kick that mickeys head in_, and his friends came to give you a little pay back, only with bats or knives or guns, if that was you in there how do you think Jackson would be feeling? If you were being placed on life support before being rushed in for an op to try and save your life, now think of having to feel like that every time you try and get even with someone, that fear has to be pretty intense Aaron and pretty damn hard to deal with when it's someone that you love dearly! And why can't you just tell him you love him? That's all he wants hear from you Aaron, _I love you!_'

As Aaron sat and listened to the words coming out of Hazels mouth, he began to see it, how Jackson must be feeling, Christ if he himself was feeling like this at the current situation, how must Jackson feel every time there is talk of violence, and settling scores, he must be absolutely terrified! The two friends sat for about fifteen minutes in silence, when Aaron looked at Hazel and said

'I've told him…in the letter… I've told him I love him and I want to try and work things out together, as a couple.'

As he reached into his inside pocket of his jacket to give Hazel the letter, he began to panic, he couldn't find it, he frantically searched his other pockets desperately trying to find the letter that opened up his heart and lay his emotions bare.

'What's wrong?' Hazel asked seeing the distress on the young lads face

''the letter I can't find it, it must of dropped out my pocket when I was at the cottage or when I was getting in the ambulance, AH FUCK! Hazel, he'll never know now!

'Don't worry Aaron you will find and if not I'm sure you will be able to write another one' Hazel tried to reassure Aaron

Just as the Hazel finished speaking they heard

'Relatives of Mr Jackson Walsh'

As the two stood up and made their way to the door where the nurse was standing, they both started asking question and overwhelmed by their sheer worry and angst, the nurse laughed slightly and said

'whoa one at a time please, come on I'll take you through to see him and explain what's going on…but please be prepared we have had to place Jackson on life support and ventilate him, for his safety only, he's gotta condit….wait can I just ask who you are first please?'

'I'm Hazel Rhodes, Jacksons Mum'

'And I am Aaron Livesy his…'

The nurse cut Aaron off

'His boyfriend, yeah I know Steve and Neil told us about you when they brought him in said they thought it was actually really sad and heart-breaking how upset you were and shows how much you two must be in love'

Aaron looked at hazel and blushed slightly realising that if others can tell and are not bothered by it why should he be?

'Right Mum and Aaron' claimed the nurse

'Jackson came in via ambulance because he collapsed? Right? So, basically he has a problem called Pericarditis, this is an infection and accumulation of fluid in the layer of the heart called the Pericardium, which is treat with strong IV anti-biotic anti-inflammatory drugs and a device called a Pericardial Drain, basically a tube that goes into his heart to drain the fluid off, the reason he's ventilated is because during the procedure of having the drain inserted under local anaesthetic, he got a bit anxious and had a panic attack his breathing became erratic, he went into respiratory distress which in turn lead him to develop a pneumothorax, which is a part of the lung collapsing, this lead him to develop what's known as respiratory acidosis, which is too much carbon dioxide in his blood and not enough oxygen as the lungs are not able to regulate how much to filter in and out'

'Wait… too much carbon dioxide? Not enough oxygen? Does that mean he could die?' asked the concerned mother

'we caught it pretty quick to be honest and because he's ventilated, we are controlling how much carbon dioxide and oxygen is going into his body, that and he's a fit, healthy 21 year old lad should mean he has everything going in his favour, 'm' not saying bad things couldn't happen, so just be prepared!'

'So how long will he be on the ventilator and how long will he have that peri…card…'

'Pericardial drain' the nurse said finishing Aaron's sentence, slightly impressed that for a young lad he appeared to be taking the situation in his stride

'well he'll be ventilated for as long as his lungs take to re-inflate and his carbon dioxide levels go back to normal and he'll have the drain in for a few days to drain the fluid off the heart, we'll be taking him to ITU soon so you can go and see him if you want?'

'Okay, thank you so much for explaining what's going on!' stated the very distraught mother

As the nurse made her way back to the nurses' station, Aaron and hazel looked at each other

'Do you want to go in first? Alone? I'm sure you don't want me breathing down your neck?' Asked Hazel, sympathetic of Aarons needs and feelings, but protecting of her own

As Aaron stood in the corridor taking everything into perspective he looked at Hazel, well he tried to, he could barely see through the tears that where now flowing out his eyes

'No…I …I…I can't go in there alone, can you come with me' sobbed the teenage lad

'Hey, hey, hey come here, course I'll come in with you, and I'm going to be there for you Aaron, but we have to think positive for Jackson' said Hazel as she pulled Aaron into a tight hug enveloping him with love and tenderness

'Where not going to lose him okay'

Aaron felt safe in Hazels arms but it was hard for him, all he could smell was the soap powder that reminded him of Jackson, a scent of Jacksons aftershave that lingered on hazels clothes from where she had cradled her boy in her arms till the paramedics came, and all Aaron wanted to think about was how he would love to be in Jacksons arms, cuddling on the sofa watching a DVD or just lying with his head on Jacksons bare chest, arm around his waist in their own little bubble talking about their day, instead. he was thinking he may never get those moments again, he may lose to stand the one person he truly loved, the one person who truly loved him and why? All because he was unable to say _I love you._

A/N please leave reviews and comments on how your finding the story so far!


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer - The characters in this story or Emmerdale don't belong to me they belong to ITV

Chapter Eleven

As Aaron and Hazel walked into the side room of the A and E department, the sight that greeted them wasn't a pleasant one, the sight of Jackson lifeless body lay before them, breathing but being mechanically controlled by the ventilator, the sight of tubing coming out of his chest with a bag lying next to him on the bed with some yellowy coloured fluid in it, the bags of clear fluid hanging with giving sets trailing down attached to Jackson via cannulas and central lines. As Aaron walked closer to his boyfriend, attempting to control the emotions that where fighting to come out he instinctively grabbed Jacksons hand, maybe he could feel his presence, maybe this would give Jackson the fight to battle this, all these thought ran through Aarons head, but certain thoughts kept resurfacing: _what if this was it, what if he never has the chance to tell Jackson how he truly feels._

hazel walked over to Aaron, placing an arm around him, hoping this would offer him some comfort, after all hazel was a bubbly optimistic 'glass half full' kind of person and it took a lot for her to crack, she knew then she had to be there for Aaron as well as her son.

As the pair stood in silence, the door opened and the anaesthetist and two ITU nurses walked into the room

'Hello Mrs Rhodes, my name is Dr Andrews I'll be taking over Jacksons care once he is in intensive care, this is Staff Nurse Sanderson', pointing to a young blonde haired, blue eyed woman probably in her mid-twenties, and this is Sister Thompson' pointing to a slightly older woman in her mid-forties, with brown hair and green eyes, holding a red bag with all the necessary equipment needed to transfer Jackson to ITU.

'if you could give us a few moments Mrs Rhodes we need to get things sorted to move Jackson, once we're done you can walk down with us and we'll have a little chat if that's okay?' the younger nurse explained as she escorted Aaron and Hazel out of the room

'Yes, yes that's fine, you do what you need to do…oh by the way can you perhaps tell him that if he doesn't wake up soon then I'll be forced to bring in his baby album, he hates his baby pictures' Hazel joked

The young nurse looked at hazel slightly puzzled at the comment, but then remembered something one of her tutors had said in her training 'everyone has different coping mechanisms and it shouldn't be looked upon as people being insensitive or uncaring' with that thought in her head she looked at the Mother and said.

'How about I tell him I've saw his baby photos, and how cute he was?' she laughed as she walked back into the room where Jackson was.

As Hazel and Aaron waited, yet again, Hazel watched Aaron, watching how worried he was, as he rubbed his hands over his head, as he every so often would rub his eyes clearing the tears that where welling up in them.

'Aaron' Hazel asked

Aaron looked up at her, trying his best to stay strong for her and Jackson,

'If you want to cry, Cry, I won't think nothing less of you, let your emotions out, it might make you feel better!'

Aaron listened to what she was saying, nodded to acknowledge he heard her words but placed his head back in his hands and stared back at the floor.

A few minutes later the door to Jackson's room was opened and the Dr and two nurses came out pushing Jackson's bed, the young nurse, without saying anything looked at the pair, giving them a signal to follow them.

Just as the Hazel and Aaron began to follow them they heard a familiar voice, Paddy was running to catch them up, shouting at them to grab their attention

'Sorry i wasn't here quicker, the car wouldn't start so I had to get a taxi in, what's happening?' asked the vet, breathless from his race to find them

As Hazel and Aarons gaze turned to the three people wheeling Jackson away, Paddy realised that it mustn't be good news.

Hazel looked at Paddy and gave him a brief outline as to what had happened

'He went into this funny heart rhythm in the ambulance…twice so they had to shock him, then when he got here they found he's got an infection in his heart, they tried to drain it, making Jackson go into respiratory distress, making his lung collapse so they had to ventilate him'

'Flippin' heck' Paddy chipped in 'so where they taking him now?' he asked

'ITU!' Aaron answered

As they caught up with Jackson, he was just about to be wheeled though the doors that led to the intensive care suite so the Nurse Sanderson hung back,

'Where going to get Jackson made comfortable, and sort all the machine then Dr Andrews and I will be in to have a chat with you and your husband.

'Oh he's not my husband, he's Aarons step father…Well sort of anyway' Hazel explained

As the three of them sat in the family room, waiting for news, or an update as to what was happening, you could feel the fear and terror in the air as to what news they would get, suddenly the door opened it was the ITU Sister, Sister Thompson,

'Aaron can I have a word please?'

Aaron looked at Hazel and Paddy, confused at why he had been summoned, before standing up and following the older woman out the door

'Follow me to my office' she said

Once in the office, she closed the door and gestured to Aaron to take a seat and on the desk next to it was a cup of tea.

'Dr Andrews and Nurse Sanderson are in with Jacksons Mum and Paddy'

'How do you know his name is Paddy?' Aaron asked

'I Have been a nurse for 19 years, 15 in this department, I remembered him from when you were in here Aaron, I never forget a face when I see one' explained the Sister

'The nurse that explained everything to you in A and E, she's my daughter and she told me when I came down to transfer Jackson about the situation, and asked me to keep an eye on you, as she thought all this was a front… Aaron I know you, and being in here you see a lot of different ways to cope. Was that why you tried to end it? Because you were gay?'

Aaron looked at the nurse and nodded

'And is this Jackson lad your boyfriend?'

Again Aaron looked at her and nodded

'can I say something to you Aaron, the way you look at him and the way I can read the sheer terror and fear on your face, you obviously like him, maybe even love him, its situations like these where one realises how much somebody means to them, but I'm guessing you already knew that, you already realised that didn't you?'

'I'm just scared I'll lose him, scared I'll never see him again, all I think about when I'm not with him, is him, if I'm in the house and he's not I count the hours minutes and seconds till he comes in. we had an argument about my temper his mum tried to get us together again but as usual I but my size nines in it, he stormed off and the next thing I know he's being wheeled into an ambulance and getting shocked, and that killed me, it felt like I was being forced to watch him die, watch him being taken away from me' Aaron explained

'If only I was able to tell him how I feel'

'well if you get some alone time with him, open your heart, he's in a side ward on his own, so it will be private, we encourage people to talk to their loved one as there is a chance they can still hear you, what you say is up to you, but I strongly advise you do so'

As Aaron listened to the words coming from the woman's mouth he realise she was right, if he truly wanted to be with Jackson he needed to grow up and stop thinking about what others thought, he needed to tell Jackson how he felt.. He needed to put Jacksons feeling first instead of his own, and he needed to do it before it was too late

A/N please review leave comment on whether you like the direction its going it helps me write!


End file.
